Mystery Method - Grounding | mysterymethod's Blog

Grounding



[From Mystery's Lounge — Mystery's classic Grounding article.]

I'm sure you've found yourself in a set when you reach the point where your target says, "What do you do?" You either give her your honest but lame answer like, "I'm a student", or "I'm a system administrator", or worse, you try to circumvent the question entirely with "I'm an ass model." A cocky answer like this might be funny at first, but she will probably ask you again shortly. Do you have something to hide?



The problem is you don't have an attractive identity, or if you do, it's not a strong one. Some guys will experiment with "I'm a rock star," or "I'm a promoter," or "I'm a public speaker," but your target will either feel you are lying (in the same way we believe an "actress" is likely a "waitress"), or if she does believe your evidence, she becomes intimidated - you get weighed down by the stereotype she has of you. For example, I am a magician. How can she relate to that?

Instead of answering her question with "I'm a magician," I can ground my present identity to her reality and harness the opportunity to convey a much richer personality. Here's how I do it:

Here is the applied format that I used to ground my

identity to a recent 9's reality. It helped to attract

her and build enough comfort to get her back to my place.



I 1. "Well when I was little I wanted to be..." I (Childhood regression. Tell stories about my dreams and ambitions as a child.)

2. "When I was a teenager..." (Tell stories about how I got from 1 to 3.)

3. "Now I'm a magician. Can you believe it?" (Talk about where I am now and what I'm working on next.)